The talking machine


What is a joke?

A man walks into a bar, sits down and orders a drink. The barman gives him his drink, accompanied by a bowl of peanuts. To his surprise, a voice comes from the peanut bowl. "You look great tonight!" it says, "You really look fantastic.... and that aftershave is just wonderful!"

The man is obviously a little confused, but tries to ignore it.

Realising he has no cigarettes, he wanders over to the cigarette machine. After inserting his money, another voice starts speaking to him, this time from the machine. "You're the stupidest, most idiotic man I've ever met. You stink too, and you're almost as ugly as your mother."

By now, the man is extremely confused. He turns to the barman for an explanation.

"Ah yes sir," the barman responds, "The peanuts are complimentary, but the cigarette machine is out of order."


There are two meanings for the word complimentary: free, with no charge, and paying compliments. Out of order also has two meanings: for a machine it means not working, and its also an informal expression meaning beyond acceptable behaviour.

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